Friday, April 11, 2008

What’s in a name?

I have been a married woman for about 4 weeks now, and it has been quite the adventure. Even in a short time I can see that marriage is a huge blessing, but that there are also challenges that need to be worked through. Being very much newlyweds, the challenge at hand is quite simply getting used to being married. One component of that, for me at least, is getting used to being called a different name.
First of all, a gripe. I am not yet officially Mrs. Newlastname. I am legally still Mrs. Oldlastname. The legal process of changing your last name is not quick, nor easy. I have begun the process (delayed slightly due to the fact that government offices are only open during the hours that I have to be at work), but its not official yet.
Lagality aside, I have taken to calling myself Mrs. Newlastname. It is fun to hear friends refer to me as this new name. It is also fun to be referred to as Bill’s wife and ot refer to him in conversation as my husband. But I am still getting used to it.
Being called by a new name is so strange. The first obvious reason is that I have been Erica Oldlastname for 24 years. Another reason that is strange is that even though I am referring to myself with my new last name, I am still signing my old one on any official documents or anytime I am shopping and need to sign my receipts.
The other challenge is that my husbands last name is quite unique. My old last name is very common. While using my new last name, I am learning that I now have to spell it out every time I say it, and that people mispronounce it constantly. That is just completely different form my past experience.

So why go through all the trouble? Why even bother changing my name? I didn’t have to. And things would certainly be easier if I didn’t (I have a very long list of notifications I need to make once its official).
I chose to take my husbands last name because I feel that it unifies us. Logically, I know that we are husband and wife no matter what we are called. And I know that we are unified by more that words or names. But sharing the same names is very symbolic to sharing our lives. It symbolizes that we are a family now, and our family is called by one name. It also signifies that I have changed my life. I like the statement that it makes.